{"id":103539,"date":"2022-04-23T13:16:53","date_gmt":"2022-04-23T17:16:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/?p=103539"},"modified":"2023-09-19T17:26:04","modified_gmt":"2023-09-19T21:26:04","slug":"counselors-corner-how-to-be-less-judgmental","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/counselors-corner-how-to-be-less-judgmental\/","title":{"rendered":"Counselor\u2019s Corner: How to Be Less Judgmental"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The word \u201cjudgment\u201d rarely conjures up good feelings. We\u2019ve all been in situations where we felt unfairly judged; likewise, we\u2019ve all made false judgments of others. Romans 14 is packed with wisdom on this subject, and Paul gives practical, concrete examples for how to become less judgmental. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While Paul opens Romans 14 with a seemingly generic overview of situations faced in the early church, I can\u2019t help but recognize that each example represents real people. The person in verse two who only eats vegetables \u2013 I wonder what his story is? Did his dad tell him they couldn\u2019t ensure that meat was kosher, so it was better to abstain<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What was his relationship with his dad like? Did he feel disconnected and long for something deeper? Did he believe that if he abstained from eating meat, his dad would be pleased with him? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now obviously this isn\u2019t in the text \u2013 I\u2019m creating a character by imagining what he might have been like \u2013 but my point is this: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Behind every decision, response, and action, there is a person with a story.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Stories Matter<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The last two years have been full of division and conflict in our nation. It\u2019s easy to look at people on the \u201cother side\u201d with contempt and a \u201chow could you think\/do\/say that?\u201d mentality. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But as someone who works at Grace\u2019s Counseling Center, I sit with people in their stories a lot. You know what I\u2019ve learned through my time there? It is so much harder to judge someone when you know their story. I am always amazed at people\u2019s resilience to the trauma they have endured and the goodness of God woven throughout devastating situations. While the Bible is clear about the importance of making wise decisions, I have found it so healing to press into the unwise decisions, leaving behind condemnation and replacing it with genuine curiosity and comfort. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So how do we become less judgemental in our lives and relationships? It starts with acknowledging that WE have a story that influences our thoughts, feelings, and decisions. The critic that judges others is most hateful toward themselves. I cannot show others compassion and grace if I\u2019m constantly berating myself and the decisions I have made. But when I am able to press into my own story \u2013 especially the parts I am ashamed of \u2013 and put those decisions into context, I can see a bigger picture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Power of Curiosity<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it can bring life to the rest of us. Curiosity helps us to understand the \u201cwhy\u201d behind the decision, and the \u201cwhy\u201d behind sinful decisions is always linked to an element of brokenness. When we can unearth the \u201cwhy,\u201d we\u2019re empowered to view ourselves with the same grace and love that God has shown us, and that overflows into our ability to love others well. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So when I meet someone whose life looks different from mine, both by circumstance and by choice, I get the opportunity to be curious. I wonder what led them to make that decision? I wonder if they feel supported or alone? I wonder what they are afraid of? I wonder what life was like for them as a kid? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best way to find answers to these questions is to do life with people. Engage with them and listen to their stories. Ask questions, offer validation and comfort, and pray for the Lord to give you His heart for others, so that you can see them the way He does \u2013 with grace and compassion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Interested in professional or pastoral counseling? Check out<\/span><\/i><a href=\"http:\/\/discovergrace.com\/cc\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> discovergrace.com\/cc\/<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to learn more about Grace\u2019s Care and Counseling Center.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The word \u201cjudgment\u201d rarely conjures up good feelings. We\u2019ve all been in situations where we felt unfairly judged; likewise, we\u2019ve all made false judgments of others. Romans 14 is packed&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":104496,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,45,97,46,105,106],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-103539","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-life","8":"category-counselors-corner","9":"category-gospel","10":"category-magazine","11":"category-sin","12":"category-spiritual-growth"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Counselor\u2019s Corner: How to Be Less Judgmental - 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