{"id":108826,"date":"2023-02-02T19:43:17","date_gmt":"2023-02-03T00:43:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/?p=108826"},"modified":"2023-11-20T14:25:21","modified_gmt":"2023-11-20T19:25:21","slug":"embracing-singleness-on-valentines-day-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/embracing-singleness-on-valentines-day-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing Singleness on Valentine\u2019s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s something ironic to me about writing an article on singleness for a holiday literally about love and togetherness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

While I do my best to ignore the holiday altogether, there is always that pang of loneliness that comes with it. The desire to have a person, to not be alone. To not have to ignore it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My favorite game growing up was \u201chouse.\u201d I\u2019d make my friends at school be my children, I\u2019d find some unsuspecting guy to be the husband, and I was always the mom. I thought the goal of life was to find a husband, have my 2.5 kids, buy a house with a white picket fence and a wrap-around porch, and spend my days sitting on a rocking chair yelling at my kids as they play in the yard.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I believed that was what it looked like to have a blessed life \u2013 that when I got to that point, my purpose for living would be achieved, and it would mean God was happy with me. He \u201cblessed\u201d me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

High school came and went.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

College came and went.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d tell myself, \u201cI just haven\u2019t met him yet. God will send him my way soon! I know it!\u201d So I waited \u2026 and kept <\/span>waiting<\/i><\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Putting Life on Hold<\/span><\/h1>\n

I felt like without my \u201cother half,\u201d I wasn\u2019t able to really do anything. I was afraid to live. I wondered if I would ever be blessed, or if the Lord was angry with me because I wasn\u2019t getting what I thought I was due and desired so badly.<\/span><\/p>\n

I celebrated friends getting married, two of my siblings getting married, becoming an aunt twice (with the third due in March!) While I love every minute of celebrating with my people and I wouldn\u2019t trade being a part of these times for anything, loneliness still lingers, and with it, thoughts like:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill I ever get to have this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs something wrong with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I don\u2019t deserve it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t go away \u2013 not really. At times it grows quieter, less noticeable, but the reality is, singleness can be incredibly painful and there\u2019s no bypassing the pain.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Understanding the Felt Experience of Singleness<\/span><\/h1>\n

If you\u2019re not single, let me give you a glimpse into the felt experience of singleness from my perspective:<\/span><\/p>\n

Singleness is going to a Christmas party, glancing around at the tables set for eight, and thinking, \u201cI should find a table with another person who\u2019s alone so there isn\u2019t one empty seat next to me. That way I won\u2019t disrupt the table flow and leave a couple with nowhere to sit. It won\u2019t be so obvious I\u2019m alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s when you\u2019re at a wedding and the bride and groom invite all their friends to come on the dance floor and slow dance with them, and you go back to your table and find your seat. Watching from the outside.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s when you finally go to that new restaurant in town, and the host asks how many are in your party and you have to say, \u201cone please\u201d and they give a knowing, pity-look and show you to a table set for two, then take away the place setting for the second person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s wanting to travel and see the world, but being afraid to go and live because living is hard as just one person. \u201cWhat if I get married and I\u2019ve done all these things without him?!\u201d \u201cWhat if he wanted to go to this place too and I experienced it for the first time without him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s wanting to buy a house, but feeling like that means giving up hope that \u201che\u201d will ever come. It\u2019s putting your life on hold because you want to experience major milestones like that with someone else \u2013 you want to decorate a first house together, argue about the location, fight over a registry, build a life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Downward Spiral \u2026 and One Key Truth<\/span><\/h1>\n

I understand the grass is not always greener on the other side. I am in no way saying that marriage is easy and if I get married, I will never feel lonely or sad again. I\u2019ve seen how hard marriage can be and if that\u2019s your experience right now<\/span>, I\u2019m so incredibly sorry<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you can relate to the sense that life isn\u2019t turning out the way you thought it was \u201csupposed\u201d to. Me too. This is what the progression looked like for me, and how I\u2019m coming to terms with the things in my life I don\u2019t like:<\/span><\/p>\n

I spent my early twenties with high hopes that my future husband was right around the corner, or at that one event, and if I didn\u2019t go I\u2019d miss him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After a few years of that, I began to shift my focus, trying not to be angry with God as I grew more and more tired of hearing, \u201cYou\u2019ll find him one day!\u201d and \u201cDon\u2019t worry, he\u2019s out there,\u201d and \u201cBe lucky you\u2019re single! You can do so many more things!\u201d (PSA: Please stop saying those things to single people. Most of us don\u2019t like it even though you mean well).<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, after many tears (over the span of a lot of years) my counselor said to me one day, \u201cYou know, marriage isn\u2019t in God\u2019s plan for everyone, and that\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rethinking Everything<\/span><\/h1>\n

I spent the next several weeks processing what she said. I hated that she even said it, honestly. But I started realizing that if she was right, then my entire idea of blessing from God was wrong. Being single wasn\u2019t evidence that God didn\u2019t love me, any more than marriage was a blessing I could earn.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I started to notice how much I was listening to the world, not God. And man was the world tearing me down and wearing me out. The world\u2019s timeline says: go to school, graduate, get married, have kids. This is how to live a successful, fulfilling, blessed life. Simple enough, and something I was sure I could do. So, I took this timeline to God and said, \u201cOkay, here is how I am to be blessed! Let\u2019s do this.\u201d Instead of asking God what true blessing looks like, I showed Him what I thought it was, and never gave Him the chance to respond.<\/span><\/p>\n

What He was trying to tell me is, I can\u2019t \u201cdo\u201d anything to earn blessing. I am blessed simply by being His.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was so focused on creating what I thought was the perfect life God had for me, that I forgot to consider Him and what He wanted for me. What He wanted me to understand is that I can only find sanctuary, joy, fulfillment, and blessing in Him. And beautifully, He\u2019s already given all of that to me; I need only rest in Him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do I still desire a husband and children? Of course.<\/span><\/p>\n

Am I still lonely? Every day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But you know what? I\u2019m not putting my life on hold anymore. And I\u2019m not listening to the lie that God\u2019s not good, or I\u2019m not blessed and whole, just being me. An individual.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019ll get married one day. Maybe not. Either way, this season is temporary. Whether on this side of heaven or the other, I won\u2019t feel the sting of singleness forever. The God who is my sanctuary now \u2013 who has declared me complete, whole, and blessed in Him \u2013 will continue to be my sanctuary for eternity. And one day, there will be no more pain whatsoever. Not even a twinge.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking for a place to call home? We\u2019d love to meet you! Click<\/span><\/i> here<\/span><\/i><\/a> to introduce yourself and learn more about Grace Church, or click<\/span><\/i> here<\/span><\/i><\/a> to find a campus near you.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s something ironic to me about writing an article on singleness for a holiday literally about love and togetherness.\u00a0 Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0 While I do my best to ignore the holiday…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":55,"featured_media":111577,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,45,87,46,100,108,106,1],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-108826","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-life","8":"category-counselors-corner","9":"category-leadership","10":"category-magazine","11":"category-marriage-relationships","12":"category-my-story","13":"category-spiritual-growth","14":"category-uncategorized"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEmbracing Singleness on Valentine\u2019s Day - 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