In the story of the rich, young ruler we see a man who seemingly has everything. He has money, authority, status, and is living a comfortable life. In his own mind, he\u2019s also a righteous man who keeps all of God\u2019s commandments. Jesus sees through all of that performance-based righteousness though. He sees the idols and pride, and His interaction with this young man inevitably becomes a parable to each of us as readers of the text.<\/p>\n
By truly seeing the young man, Jesus is able to point him straight to the truth that pierces his heart. He speaks to him with compassion. He speaks to him directly with care and concern for his soul. He speaks to him in a way that challenges his mindset and lifestyle, yet does it all with love and care.<\/p>\n
Jesus\u2019 interaction with the rich young ruler is a great model for us. Deep relationships take work. They call for humility and intentionality, self-sacrifice and a desire to put the needs of others before our own. When we truly see people and connect with their hearts, we have the ability to speak into their lives to challenge, encourage, and strengthen them in their faith.[\/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”No Line”][vc_column_text]\n
Attunement,<\/b> containment,<\/b> and repair<\/b> are the three emotional needs of any relationship that is moving toward greater love. These three components provide all the support someone needs to feel the safety to be open and authentic, vulnerable and transparent. It is in this space that growth occurs and true healing can take place in the human heart.[\/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”No Line”][vc_column_text]\nAttunement: Seeing Beneath the Surface<\/h4>\n
Attunement is more than just looking someone in the eyes when they\u2019re speaking with you. Attunement is the desire to truly know someone. It\u2019s the act of engaging with the heart and mind of another, connecting in a real and powerful way \u2013 understanding what they are feeling, what they are thinking, and what is happening for them internally. It builds trust and provides a sense of safety. It demonstrates a humble curiosity that leads to a greater depth of emotional understanding.<\/p>\n
No one models this better than Jesus, who is continually attuned to every person He encounters throughout the New Testament (Mark 10:17-27, Luke 10:38-42, John 4).\u00a0 Our lives are full of many types of relationships \u2013 marital, parental, familial, vocational, and social \u2013 and each of these relationships require connection to flourish. Learning to see others the way Jesus sees us leads to deep, rich relationships that provide love and safety in a world where our adversary seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).[\/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”No Line”][vc_column_text]\n
Containment is honoring another in who they are, as one created in the image of God, by allowing them to fully express their emotions in a given moment. It\u2019s the idea of being attuned to another in an effort to allow them to work through their experience in a way that helps their heart return to peace, hope, and love. It is honoring them by being open and vulnerable with their story. At times, this becomes difficult because the emotions can be pointed at you, the listener, making it difficult to hear a hard truth and containment can become complicated.<\/p>\n
In these moments, we need to train our hearts and minds to respond with curiosity. We must ask questions to understand the \u201chow\u201d and \u201cwhy\u201d behind the emotions being shared. We ask questions to develop understanding, and then we can respond in humility and kindness. This allows for the experiences of others to be heard and honored and for trust to be built.[\/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”No Line”][vc_column_text]\n
Finally, in order to live in harmony with others, we must be willing and able to practice repair. Repair is the naming of grief and harm and working toward healing the trust broken in moments of rupture. This may seem complex but Jesus insists that it is imperative to living in gospel-community.<\/p>\n