{"id":109041,"date":"2023-04-01T07:30:04","date_gmt":"2023-04-01T11:30:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/?p=109041"},"modified":"2023-09-19T15:51:23","modified_gmt":"2023-09-19T19:51:23","slug":"step-two-exposing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/step-two-exposing\/","title":{"rendered":"Step Two: Exposing"},"content":{"rendered":"

It all started with a salad.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For the record, I hate salad. Asian people don\u2019t grow up eating salad. And Asian people like me, raised in third world countries, <\/span>really<\/span><\/i> don\u2019t eat salad. We cook our vegetables, lest they kill us.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m home!\u201d My husband called. We were in the trenches of raising tiny children who never slept, and he had run to a nearby restaurant for takeout.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember exactly where I was standing when he held the bag out to me, suspended in midair. I was in our garage-turned-playroom, in my pajamas, with hair so unkempt I may as well have been electrocuted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI got you salad,\u201d he said smiling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I said, \u201cI think I just hallucinated. What did you get me?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We had been to this restaurant exactly one million times, and every time, I ordered the same thing. Teriyaki chicken wings with sweet potato fries and broccoli.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Every. Single. Time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just picked something for you. I got the Southwest salad.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I took a deep, steadying breath. \u201cYou got me the <\/span>Southwest<\/span><\/i> salad?<\/span><\/i> Have you met me? If I ever order a salad \u2013 which I never do \u2013 at least, I order the <\/span>Asian<\/span><\/i> salad. But Southwest? <\/span>SOUTHWEST?!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt has blue cheese,\u201d he said lamely, which in his defense, is <\/span>his<\/span><\/i> favorite cheese.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You would\u2019ve thought he flipped me off. At the absolute top of my lungs I screamed, \u201cI HATE BLUE CHEESE!!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The reason I still remember this moment isn\u2019t actually because of the salad. Or the blue cheese. It was because at this very moment, I heard our new neighbor outside, talking calmly on his cellphone. You could hear every word as clearly as if he was in the room with us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I went from rage to humiliation in one second flat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Forget inviting him to church. Forget pointing his family to Jesus. Forget even pretending to appear sane. I was outed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Exposed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why Being Exposed is a Good Thing<\/span><\/h1>\n

Life has a way of exposing vulnerability. <\/b>Anxiety attacks, shame, sadness, anger \u2013 it\u2019s all a form of exposure \u2013 the unfiltered \u201cyou\u201d popping to the surface. You can respond in two ways: shove it all back down, or dig through the layers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Exposure always comes with layers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Believe it or not, the salad incident was a turning point for me. Honestly, if my neighbor hadn\u2019t overheard, I would\u2019ve forgotten the whole thing. But being outed gave me pause. It was painful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first layer of pain was embarrassment. <\/span>What must he think of me?\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Below the embarrassment, there was disappointment. <\/span>Why do I do this? Why am I so hot headed? I wish I didn’t react this way.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Under the disappointment was resentment. <\/span>Parenting is so much harder than I thought it would be. I\u2019m angry it\u2019s so hard.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

And at the very core, there was sadness and shame. <\/span>I feel like a failure. I\u2019m not the mom I thought I\u2019d be. I\u2019m not the wife I want to be. I\u2019m not the Christian I ought to be.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever you experience a moment of awakening, you have a choice. You can turn toward it or away from it. Turning toward an awakening means allowing it to expose all of the thoughts and feelings it needs to expose. It means following the layers of uncomfortable emotions. Don\u2019t be afraid to follow the layers, because at the bottom of all those icky feelings, you\u2019ll find your core beliefs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And once you\u2019ve exposed those, you can begin \u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

STEP 3: DISPUTING. Read the next article.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n



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It all started with a salad.\u00a0 For the record, I hate salad. Asian people don\u2019t grow up eating salad. 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