But that\u2019s not necessarily true.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not the exact same wife publicly as I am privately. I don\u2019t fight with my husband publicly. I don\u2019t tell him about my sin on social media so we can discuss it in front of everyone. I do those things privately. We have private fights, private jokes, private failures and sorrows. We have a whole private life together. Does that mean we\u2019re inauthentic? Of course not.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a difference between honesty and transparency. Christians aren\u2019t called to unfettered transparency. We\u2019re allowed to keep our private lives private, and we\u2019re wise to do so. The problem arises when a private life becomes a secret one. Over the years I\u2019ve had several conversations with people who harbored secret lives for a season.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what I learned.<\/p>\n
The Bible personifies sin as an active adversary, one that \u201cseizes\u201d opportunities for deception, \u201ccrouches\u201d at the door, \u201cdesires\u201d to have us, \u201censnares\u201d and \u201centangles\u201d (Romans 7:11, Genesis 4:7, Hebrews 12:1).<\/p>\n
Sin lies in wait for us \u2013 for weary moments when tensions mount and defenses fall. It seduces, one small lie at a time, and so the Bible warns: Be sober-minded. Watch yourself. Stay awake. Be on guard. Stand firm <\/i>(I Peter 5:8, Luke 21:34-36, I Corinthians 16:13-23).<\/p>\n
A private life in danger of becoming a secret one is marked by passivity. We\u2019re unguarded. We minimize and rationalize sin. We don\u2019t care what the Bible says. It\u2019s normal for fallen humans to experience bouts of passivity from time to time. But if our relationship with God is marked by ongoing, unchecked passivity, the Bible\u2019s message is clear: Wake up.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
A secret life is less about passivity, and more about actively hiding sin. People leading secret lives know what they\u2019re doing. At least that\u2019s what they\u2019ve told me. It\u2019s the natural progression of sin. There comes a point when we can no longer deny it, and we have to intentionally hide it. James 1:14-15 describes the progression: \u201cEach person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.\u201d<\/p>\n
Notice the four stages in James\u2019s progression: temptation, evil desires, active sin, death. I believe it\u2019s possible to course-correct at every single stage. The consequences vary dramatically depending on how quickly we course-correct. Turning from \u201cevil desires\u201d before acting on them could mean the difference between a saved marriage and a lost one, or an apology to a boss versus a lawsuit.<\/p>\n
But even if someone has already experienced \u201cdeath\u201d because of sin \u2013 whether it\u2019s the death of a relationship or reputation \u2013 it\u2019s not too late to course-correct. As long as there\u2019s air in our lungs, we can come back from sin. Look at the prodigal son (Luke 15). God delights in bringing life out of death. It\u2019s the story of our salvation and <\/i>sanctification.<\/p>\n
Where have your boundaries fizzled? Where are you weak, tempted, or depleted? Be on guard. <\/i>Where have you already crossed the line? Bring it to light. Press into godly relationships where you can be honest about your sin without fear of judgment.<\/p>\nWe are not alone in our war with sin.<\/h4>\n
During a hard season in my life, I remember trying to manage my sin alone. I just kept shoving it down like a beach ball in the pool \u2013 again and again \u2013 no matter how many times it popped back to the surface. I suppressed the truth, until one day, I realized I was drowning. When I couldn\u2019t deny or \u201cmanage\u201d my sin any longer, I finally brought it to light and cried out to Jesus.<\/p>\n
The next time I found myself in a similar situation, I did something different. I confided in my husband immediately, then called a trusted friend and was brutally honest. We prayed together, right then. I was braced for a long, suffocating battle with sin, but this time, the power was gone before it could sprout wings and grow.<\/p>\n
James 5:16 says, \u201cConfess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.\u201d Sin is not indomitable. We just have to bring it to light. And trust me, one way or another\u2026<\/p>\n
Whether we own it or hide it, the truth will surface. \u201cFor there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open\u201d (Luke 8:17).<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re blurring the lines of obedience, or edging from a private struggle with sin into a secret life of sin, be brave and face the truth. You don\u2019t have to broadcast your private life to your public audiences. But confide in a trusted friend, and certainly, take it to Jesus. \u201cThere is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment\u201d (I John 4:18).<\/p>\n
There\u2019s no punishment waiting for those who are in Christ Jesus. On the other side of honesty, there\u2019s only freedom.[\/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”Small Line” line_alignment=”center” line_thickness=”2″ divider_color=”accent-color” animate=”yes”][vc_column_text]\n
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