{"id":111238,"date":"2023-05-31T12:55:34","date_gmt":"2023-05-31T16:55:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/?p=109608"},"modified":"2023-09-19T16:49:02","modified_gmt":"2023-09-19T20:49:02","slug":"boxes-of-brokenness-unpacking-childhood-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/boxes-of-brokenness-unpacking-childhood-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"Boxes of Brokenness: Unpacking Childhood Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script src=\"https:\/\/static.elfsight.com\/platform\/platform.js\" data-use-service-core defer><\/script><\/p>\n<div class=\"elfsight-app-080cd00c-ac69-42f8-bbd8-a1b63a9e9519\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was 23 years old when I took my first positive pregnancy test. They say you\u2019re never actually prepared for parenthood, but I feel like you\u2019re far less equipped when you\u2019re 23. I had just started grad school a few months prior, so I was immersed in textbooks and APA-formatting requirements, and didn\u2019t have a lot of room left in my brain for diapers and pacifiers. In addition, social media was hardly a thing at the time (at least compared to what it is now) and there was definitely no such thing as an \u201cinfluencer\u201d to give exorbitant amounts of unsolicited parenting advice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, there I was, being wheeled out of the hospital, holding a swaddled stranger I had just met. I remember standing at the hospital entrance, watching my husband try to install the car seat, and thinking, \u201cWe really don\u2019t know what we\u2019re doing.\u201d I adopted a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">figure-it-out-as-you-go<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> mentality, and days turned to weeks, which turned to months, which turned to years.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One day I was disciplining my toddler, when I had this overwhelming feeling like I had been here before. At first I thought it was a memory, but it was more like an all-encompassing, whole-body sensation that I was the child being disciplined. I could feel it throughout every part of me \u2013 physically, mentally, emotionally. It was weird, and I didn\u2019t know what to do with it, so I put it in a box and tucked it away for later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Effects of Trauma on the Body<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At some point in my graduate studies, I came across this concept that the body stores trauma and emotions. The degree of trauma associated with an experience is not solely dependent on the experience itself, but how we were received during and afterward. Was there someone safe to come home to after the trauma, someone who offered comfort and care? Or was the experience denied and the emotions invalidated, creating a sense of isolation and abandonment in a moment of need? It\u2019s one thing to experience trauma; it\u2019s another to walk through it alone. And yet Jesus Himself has been there. He cried out to his Father on the cross, not because his hands hurt from the nails, but because He had been forsaken. He had been left alone, and that pain was far too great to bear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn\u2019t know why I felt like I had been in that moment with my son before, but that wouldn\u2019t be the last time I would feel something familiar. And each time I would be faced with a decision: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do I ignore it or press in?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Facing Forgotten Pain<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unpacking your story is hard. Climbing up to the attic or descending down to the dark basement, gathering up the boxes covered in dust and cobwebs, carrying the heavy load into the light and then opening them up, one by one, examining the contents and deciding what is worth keeping and what needs to go, what needs to be cleaned up and what needs to be thrown away. It\u2019s not an easy process. It requires time, energy, and a support system.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes we convince ourselves that because those boxes are tucked away and out of sight, they don\u2019t really exist. But at some point, something in them starts to rot and the whole house begins to smell. Or it comes time to move to a new place, and we\u2019re either forced to face the contents in a stressed and chaotic environment, or throw them into the back of the moving truck, bringing the clutter to our new space. Or worst of all, they become our kids\u2019 problem to deal with after we pass away. A house full of boxes that no one unpacked. A life full of stories no one took the time to understand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Either way, we can\u2019t hide from the boxes. They exist whether we want to acknowledge them or not. The parts of our story that are hard for us to tell \u2013 that bring shame and grief and pain \u2013 they\u2019re going to come out one way or another. The abuse that we\u2019ve normalized, the abandonment we\u2019ve minimized, the wounds we\u2019ve sought so desperately to cover with addiction and distraction, they don\u2019t go away because we ignore them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oftentimes it takes a life altering event to force us to unpack the boxes. We grieve the unexpected loss of a loved one. We\u2019re confused when we climb to the top of a career ladder only to find ourselves more dissatisfied than before. We\u2019re broken when decades after saying, \u201cI do,\u201d we\u2019re isolated and alone in a marriage. We welcome the birth of a child, upon whom we\u2019ve placed our entire life\u2019s purpose, only to discover children make terrible gods.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Holding Joy and Sorrow Together<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The book of Exodus is replete with traumatic events. Slavery, murder, refugee crises, natural disasters, oppression, abuse, death. The Israelites witnessed God\u2019s protection and provision and deliverance time after time, but that still doesn\u2019t mean those other things didn\u2019t happen. What does it look like to hold both of them together? You can\u2019t have deliverance without slavery. You can\u2019t have resurrection without death. When we neglect to acknowledge the brokenness and pain and grief that has swallowed up this world, we leave less room for the power of God to heal and comfort and reconcile.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So what would it look like to unpack your boxes and tell your story? To understand more about who you are, where you came from, why you think and respond the way that you do?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who you are and where you\u2019re from is a big deal in the Bible, as shown by the extensive lists of names and genealogies leading to Jesus. But God also includes stories of outcasts, rejects, exiles, foreigners \u2013 and in some cases, like Ruth, weaves their lineage into that of His chosen people. Don\u2019t ignore the boxes forever. You have the power to unpack them \u2013 the power to change your family legacy here on earth, and eternally through Christ.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Click <\/span><\/i><a href=\"http:\/\/discovergrace.com\/cc\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">here<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to learn more about Grace\u2019s Care and Counseling Center.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To read more from Julie Hotalen, check out these articles:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/counselors-corner-when-holidays-arent-hallmark-y\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When Holidays Aren\u2019t Hallmark-y<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/counselors-corner-how-to-be-less-judgmental\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Be Less Judgmental<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/why-counseling\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Counseling?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was 23 years old when I took my first positive pregnancy test. They say you\u2019re never actually prepared for parenthood, but I feel like you\u2019re far less equipped when&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":111639,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,45,90,46],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-111238","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-counseling","8":"category-counselors-corner","9":"category-exodus","10":"category-magazine"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Boxes of Brokenness: Unpacking Childhood Trauma - Grace Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/boxes-of-brokenness-unpacking-childhood-trauma\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Boxes of Brokenness: Unpacking Childhood Trauma - Grace Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I was 23 years old when I took my first positive pregnancy test. 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