Utter the word \u201cexpectations\u201d and my soul withers just a bit. The words that rush to my mind
\nare words like shame, guilt, disappointment, failure.
\nUgh.
\nI\u2019m clearly not the only one who has less than warm feelings about the word. Ann Voskamp
\nwrites that her dad used to tell her, \u201cExpectations kill relationships.\u201d
\nIn my own case, I shudder because I am too often \u201cthat\u201d friend\u2014the one failing to meet
\nexpectations. The disapproval of people I love crushes me and makes me feel that I will never
\nbe enough.
\nI know others who suffer because they are the ones hurt when loved ones fail to meet their
\nexpectations. The disappointment leaves them feeling unloved and abandoned.
\nUndoubtedly, there are expectations that cause pain because they are unhealthy or unrealistic.
\nFor example, if I expect everyone to feel and behave exactly as I would in a given situation, it\u2019s
\nnot healthy or realistic. Likewise, any time I expect a person to fill a void or a need that only
\nJesus can fill, it is not healthy or realistic. In either case, disappointment is inevitable.
\nStill, my time in the Bible lately has been bringing my attention to the theme of biblical
\ncommunity, and I have to say that the Word gives some pretty clear guidelines to attitudes and
\nbehaviors that are realistic to expect within the Body of Christ.
\nLook at this list that I have gleaned the past month\u2014and it is just from the New Testament. As
\nbelievers, it is reasonable to expect those in our faith community to demonstrate honesty,
\npurity, generosity, acceptance, inclusion, mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and
\npeace. Moreover, we can expect other believers to use their gifts in service of others. We can
\nexpect encouraging words and gentle correction.
\nOn the flip side, the Bible warns believers against things like lying, pride, crude or foolish talk,
\nslander, gossip, greed, bitterness, anger, and malicious behavior. Therefore, it is reasonable for
\nus to expect other believers to refrain from such attitudes and actions.
\nOne certainly doesn\u2019t need to be a follower of Christ to see that there is great social benefit to
\nfollowing the biblical guidelines for community. So, as much as I would like to, I cannot say
\nthat having expectations of others is inherently harmful.
\nIn reality, the pain that comes from appropriate expectations comes from another truth that I\u2019ve
\nlearned both in the Bible and in half a decade of living:
\nYou can expect people to fail you.
\nEven those people you have on a pedestal. Even those who are saints.
\nYou see, as great as the biblical directives for relationship are, every single one of us is born
\nwith a propensity to selfishness and sin. Because we are all fallen creatures, we are simply not
\ncapable on our own of living up to the excellent biblical precepts for human interaction.
\nPaul expresses the dilemma poignantly in Romans 7, saying \u201cI love God\u2019s law with all my heart.
\nBut there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.\u201d
\nSo what are we to do?
\nFirst, we can remember that it is not hopeless. Just after his lament, Paul exalts that \u201cthe
\nanswer is Jesus Christ our Lord\u201d (Romans 7:25). Even though our flesh may still be drawn to
\nsin and selfishness, Christ has set us free from bondage to sin. Our salvation begins the
\nprocess of sanctification that liberates us to know Jesus more, love Him more, and trust Him
\nmore. We may fail each other regularly today, but we can have hope that as long as Christ is
\nour focus, we will become increasingly more faithful and Christlike.
\nSecond, we can diligently endeavor to obey Jesus\u2019 command to His disciples on His last night
\nwith them. His exhortation: \u201cLove each other in the same way I have loved you.\u201d
\nHow did He love us? He accepted us in our fallen state. Romans 5:8 says that \u201cwhile we were
\nstill sinners, Christ died for us.\u201d He forgave us before we even asked for it. He freed us from the
\nexpectations of the law and carried the burden Himself.
\nMaybe the solution is not to release one another from wholesome expectations, but from the
\nburden of those expectations. Let us give each other the freedom to fail because we know that
\nforgiveness has already been granted.
\nInstead of living with relational disappointment, let us relate with a sense of expectancy,
\nknowing that in spite of failure, Christ is at work creating beauty in our flawed but forgiving
\nfellowship.<\/p>\n
Written by Grace Oviedo member Mary Odell.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Utter the word \u201cexpectations\u201d and my soul withers just a bit. The words that rush to my mind are words like shame, guilt, disappointment, failure. Ugh. I\u2019m clearly not the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":13655,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13654","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-life"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n