{"id":15106,"date":"2018-07-23T08:58:25","date_gmt":"2018-07-23T12:58:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.discover-grace.flywheelsites.com\/?p=15106"},"modified":"2018-07-23T08:58:25","modified_gmt":"2018-07-23T12:58:25","slug":"finding-god-empty-nest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding God in an Empty Nest"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday my niece posted a picture of her three spirited children \u2014all under the age of 5 \u2014with this caption: \u201cTomorrow\u2019s Friday\u2026which means nothing when you have kids.\u201d
\nI refrained from commenting, \u201cDon\u2019t blink,\u201d because I remember those long days of littles. I remember keeping them entertained and active but feeling exhausted long before they did. I remember carefully calculating the earliest I could get them in bed without them waking up at an unholy hour the next morning. I remember fantasizing about going to the bathroom\u2014 alone. During those days when a mom of a twenty-something would say, \u201cSavor every moment\u2026it goes so fast,\u201d I believed her\u2014but it felt like eons before I\u2019d even have them out of diapers.
\nI was fortunate during those years to have a mentor challenge me to \u201clive with the end in mind.\u201d She encouraged me to form a picture of what I wanted my relationships to look like when my kids were adults, and then parent intentionally to earn those relationships.
\nThat\u2019s what I did. For many years it seemed like we were parenting rockstars. Our family was close, our kids were best friends, and we enjoyed being together even during the traditionally tumultuous teens.
\nSuddenly, it seemed we had arrived at \u201cthe end\u201d that we had in mind from the beginning. All three of my babies are now in their twenties. I have to make a confession: I had many days when I said to God, \u201cUm\u2026.this wasn\u2019t the dream.\u201d
\nDon\u2019t get me wrong. Each one of my children makes me proud in his or her own way. It\u2019s just that the vision that I parented towards was a relationship with adult children grateful for the upbringing they received. I imagined adult children who were independent and responsible, but who still desired to spend time with the folks because they loved us so much. The dream was close relationships with like-minded adults who had learned to think critically for themselves and after much deliberation arrived at the conclusion that Mom and Dad were right. And they would rise up and call us blessed.
\nI\u2019m still waiting for that.
\nI read something recently that comforted me, because I realized we probably have not yet arrived at that \u201cend picture\u201d that I have been mourning. The article explained a developmental process called \u201cdifferentiation.\u201d This is the process in which a young adult learns to separate from family in order to engage as a healthy adult within key relationships (including family). It is an important process because it allows young people to form and internalize convictions in a way that is more lasting than just mimicking mom and dad.
\nKnowing this gives me hope.
\nHowever, for a parent, this process is brutal. Perhaps the hardest for me has been the awkward state of \u201calmost but not yet” that is young adulthood. They are legal adults, but not fully independent. They need still our help, but don\u2019t want us to tell them what to do. It\u2019s a normal, healthy process (and a good chance for me to learn to get over myself), but many days it feels a lot like rejection.
\nOne morning I was unloading to the Lord my feelings of rejection\u2014that I am pouring love and resources into people who seem to want my provision but not my company. They want my assistance but not my wisdom. They want my approval but not the truth. As I lamented, I realized something.
\nThis is exactly how I treat God.<\/em><\/strong>
\nI come boldly before the throne of grace and ask for provision, protection, encouragement, and comfort \u2014and then I dash off to my day, too busy to just sit and enjoy my Father. I\u2019m too distracted by my need to marvel at the fact that \u2014 hello \u2014 I can come boldly before the throne of grace! <\/strong>
\nWhat a wake-up.
\nI\u2019ve been considering how I can re-order my life so that my appreciation is ultimately for God\u2019s presence more than for His gifts. So far, that means I\u2019m prioritizing the following things:
\n1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bible study. \u00a0The more I know Him, the more I love Him.
\n2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Worship. For me, this involves lots of music and nature.
\n3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fellowship. I am an introvert, but deep fellowship with God\u2019s people deepens my love for Him.
\n4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Trust. I won\u2019t fully obey someone I don\u2019t trust, and I can\u2019t fully love a God I won\u2019t obey. .
\nWhat I am finding is that even as I establish these priorities, I am dependent on God to achieve them. Unlike children who must separate from family in order to mature, God\u2019s children don\u2019t need to differentiate from Him \u2014 just the opposite.
\nIn order for me to mature as a healthy Christian, I must increase in dependence on Him.<\/p>\n

\n

Written by Mary Odell, member of\u00a0Grace’s\u00a0Oviedo campus.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday my niece posted a picture of her three spirited children \u2014all under the age of 5 \u2014with this caption: \u201cTomorrow\u2019s Friday\u2026which means nothing when you have kids.\u201d I refrained…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":15107,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-15106","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-life"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFinding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Grace Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/discovergracefl\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mary Odell\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mary Odell\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mary Odell\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/4d15daee6eb5993a30de431737d87b7d\"},\"headline\":\"Finding God in an Empty Nest\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":831,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"articleSection\":[\"Christian Life\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/\",\"name\":\"Finding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00\",\"description\":\"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/finding-god-empty-nest\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\",\"contentUrl\":\"\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Grace Church\",\"description\":\"Let us help you take your next step.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Grace Church\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/06\\\/cropped-Grace-brandmark-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/06\\\/cropped-Grace-brandmark-1.png\",\"width\":512,\"height\":512,\"caption\":\"Grace Church\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/discovergracefl\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/4d15daee6eb5993a30de431737d87b7d\",\"name\":\"Mary Odell\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Mary Odell\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/discovergrace.com\\\/author\\\/mary-odell\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Finding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church","description":"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Finding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church","og_description":"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?","og_url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/","og_site_name":"Grace Church","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/discovergracefl","article_published_time":"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00","author":"Mary Odell","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mary Odell","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/"},"author":{"name":"Mary Odell","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#\/schema\/person\/4d15daee6eb5993a30de431737d87b7d"},"headline":"Finding God in an Empty Nest","datePublished":"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/"},"wordCount":831,"commentCount":1,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","articleSection":["Christian Life"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/","url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/","name":"Finding God in an Empty Nest - Grace Church","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","datePublished":"2018-07-23T12:58:25+00:00","description":"What can we learn when the end of parenting isn't what we expect?","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/finding-god-empty-nest\/#primaryimage","url":"","contentUrl":""},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/","name":"Grace Church","description":"Let us help you take your next step.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#organization","name":"Grace Church","url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/cropped-Grace-brandmark-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/cropped-Grace-brandmark-1.png","width":512,"height":512,"caption":"Grace Church"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/discovergracefl"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/#\/schema\/person\/4d15daee6eb5993a30de431737d87b7d","name":"Mary Odell","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/94e1d0e07ec26b159b1acdbb49abe892505360947ea9d6c349817302011e61c3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Mary Odell"},"url":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/author\/mary-odell\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15106"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15106\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15106"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discovergrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=15106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}